June Swoon Soon?

As of May 29 the top three teams in the National League Central are only one game off pace with the top three teams in the American League East in total victories (and the Yankees are in last place).

...and he shaved his red Van Dyke!

Wow!

Big Mac sure looks different now that he is not taking those "vitamin supplements"...

Huh?

Chicago Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals each post franchise record number of wins in April (18 and 19, respectively).

Discuss.

Transitive Postulate

1. Cubs are not that good because they have beaten up on the Pirates.

2. Pirates beat the Cardinals.

3. ?

4. Profit!

Oh, hey, look at that...

...however, to put things in perspective, the bullet train that is the St. Louis "...and hitting eighth, the pitcher..." Cardinals did run up against the "not as wretched as expected" SF Giants over the weekend.

Bird Dropping

Former Illini, Scott Spiezio, who was cut by the St. Louis Cardinals one year after helping lead the team to what most consider to be the worst and most boring World Series ever, signed a deal with the Atlanta Braves.

Spiezio started the '2008 campaign in both Triple-A and AA.

UPDATE: He's gone.

New Second Favorite Team

I've decided I have a new second favorite team. Everyone knows my favorite is the Astros, but I'm formally announcing my second favorite is whoever is playing the Cardinals. I hate the Cardinals. I know this isn't anything new for Cubs fans, but we Astros fans have been mostly on the sidelines. Remember, the Cards, or even Cubs for that matter, weren't in our division until the 1998 Season so the Dodgers were more hated traditionally. Back to my point. Tony LaRussa is the most OVERRATED manager in baseball. Is it because he has a law degree? Is it because he has famous friends? Is it because he has some animal rescue charity? Whatever it is, he gets all kind of slack on the baseball field. Yes, the Cardinals got lucky and were hot during the series a few years ago. However, the Astros did the same thing the year before to make the series and did anyone really think they were the best team in the NL? Heck, Phil Garner out managed the "genius" LaRussa during that series, but LaRussa gets no blame. Larry Dierker had a better five year record than LaRussa besting the Cards on numerous occasions, yet there's always excuses for why the genius can't perform. Every year during the spring LaRussa would say the Cards were the team to beat and the Astros would still win the division. Just for that I tell him BIOYA (Blow It Out Your A**), or BOHICA (Bend Over Here It Comes Again)

For those of you that think he's so great, I have two names for you, Chris Sabo and Kirk Gibson. Remember the unbeatable A's teams of the late 80's? The Bash Brothers, Mr. Mean on the Mound and the unhittable Eck in the pin, managed by the "genius". How about getting swept by the Reds and Dodgers? He is a whiney b**ch. As I heard on the radio today, there's two types of people that wear sunglasses indoors, blind people and morons. I don't think he's blind. Even gets a DUI for falling asleep at a stop light and nothing happens to the guy. Yesterday he was complaining about how they were changing the rotating signs behind home plate. Whatever, go rescue something, you inside sunglass wearing, whining, attorney, overrated, sorry excuse for a baseball genius.

Albert Pujols, her fore referred to as A-Poo, is a perfect fit to play with LaRussa. Smug disrespectful ass that thinks he's better than anyone else. Hey A-Poo, why don't you meet Backe in a dark alley? Remember Nolan Ryan and Robin Ventura? That's what happens when you mess with someone from SE Texas. In other words, you'll get a beating that will make you run to Tony's shoulder crying about how he hit you. Probably crying about it bruised your ovaries and now you'll have to miss a game. Hey A-Poo real men don't have ovaries, but I'm sure you do. I'll meet you in an alley and go Kimbo Slice on your pansy a**. Here's to a fastball between the shoulder blades next time you set a foot in Minute Maid.

While I'm at it, I'm still pissed at MLB for the realignment in 97. Why are we the only division with six teams? Why does the NL have two more teams than the AL? BS to me. I don't have my normal stats as to why it's unfair, but it pisses me off, especially during the all-star game when we have to have members of every team represented, which means two more nobodies are on the NL over the AL. I guess I do have one stat and you just read it.

Thanks to Lance Zierlein of 1560 the Game's morning show, for helping me reach my inner pissed off point this morning. Don't know if it's because I traveled yesterday from San Francisco so I'm tired, or the b**tch turning onto Sienna Parkway this morning did an illegal turn, (hey dumb ass, the sign says left turn from left lane only...middle lane goes straight. I guess you don't have to follow the law if you drive an Infinity. There's a reason I have an F-150, to run over morons like you. See you at the intersection tomorrow), but the timing was perfect to make a rant. So Double Rods!

On another note, I also heard this morning about a web site run by Brewer Mike where people pledge to pee in their pants if the Brewers make the playoffs. Could be my sophomoric sense of humor but I like the idea. Might even sign up. http://www.peeyourpantsforthebrewers.com/

Now I'm off to terrioze the office. Might be one of those days where it's best to shut my office door and only come out for Diet Cokes and a leak.

Rollen, Rollen, Rollen... - OR - Tony LaRussa Will Not Have Scott Rolen To Blame For Team's Failure To Beat Cubs In Season Series Any Longer...

One of St. Louis most popular dopey gimps (who is tall enough to ride the Beast roller coaster at King's Island) has been exiled to Canada in favor of doping gimp Tony Glaus.


"And you can't overstate how popular this guy is among small-town Midwesterners. He's exactly the type of player they love: He's not a showboat, he hustles all the time, he looks like he takes IVs of corn starch before every game and he's, of course, white. Not a bad combination for a Midwestern ballplayer."

...from Deadspin