Rollen, Rollen, Rollen... - OR - Tony LaRussa Will Not Have Scott Rolen To Blame For Team's Failure To Beat Cubs In Season Series Any Longer...

One of St. Louis most popular dopey gimps (who is tall enough to ride the Beast roller coaster at King's Island) has been exiled to Canada in favor of doping gimp Tony Glaus.


"And you can't overstate how popular this guy is among small-town Midwesterners. He's exactly the type of player they love: He's not a showboat, he hustles all the time, he looks like he takes IVs of corn starch before every game and he's, of course, white. Not a bad combination for a Midwestern ballplayer."

...from Deadspin