The Case For Reed Johnson

With the upcoming return of Soriano, there has been a lot of guessing on the future of the lineup for the Cubs. Sources have said the Lou is going to stick him back into the lead-off spot that he was struggling in at the beginning of the season. I completely hate this idea. Reed has more than filled in for Fonzi, he has earned Center Field and the lead-off position. I have seen great offense, defense and great hustle. Did you see his slide into first yesterday? Soriano is not the future lead-off for the Cubs and should be moved to number 2 in the order. He will see more fastballs and be able to find his groove and maintain it much better from that spot. He is not a Kenny Lofton or Juan Pierre (the best lead-0ff hitters they have had this century). The return of the Fonz should indicate an improvement for the Cubs, not stepping back to where they were before. They have proved that they can play well without him, he should just add to the mix and make them even better. That is, if they handle his return correctly. While we are at it, the Cubs should definitely ride the hot bat of Cedeno for a while. He started off hot two years ago and faded, but as a more seasoned and physically defined player, I believe that he will be able to last even longer into the season. He earned the spot and will only flourish with the chance to be an everday starter with the occasional break. Lou is still going to fiddle with the line-up, but here is how I think it should go down for a while.

1. Reed Johnson CF
2. Soriano LF
3. Lee 1B
4. Ramirez 3B
5. Fukodome RF
6. Theriot SS
7. Blanco C
8. Cedeno 2B
9. Pitcher

This lineup shows a much better balance of power and speed. Theriot and Cedeno can be mixed around between 6 and 8 depending on how they are doing and Soriano could even be moved around and switched with Fukodome on occasion for a little twist. Even though losing a series to the Nats could cause some frustration, it doesn't bother me in the long haul. This next series with the Brewers could really be pivotal and set the tone for future division battles though.

Nationals Shut -Out Cubs, Win Series

We're in 4th!

Five game winning streak pushes the 08 World Series Champion Astros to 4th place. We're number 4! We're number 4!

Even better Valverde pitched a perfect ninth w/ 2 k's.

Lewis Black? Dennis Miller? Pffftttt...

April 29, 1983 - a date which will live in infamy...
Lee Dropping the (F) Bomb...again...and again...and again...

...tip of the hat to Dave Dahl!

Transitive Postulate

1. Cubs are not that good because they have beaten up on the Pirates.

2. Pirates beat the Cardinals.

3. ?

4. Profit!

Let's Get This Ironed Out

I think the bet that was instigated between TEC and Let's Go Astros needs to get hammered out. I think when we left off it was a battle this season for the best offense between the Cubs and the Astros. Why not just go for overall record just to make it more simple. I think the t's need to get crossed and the i's need to be dotted on this one. Money means nothing we are talking sacrifice and public shame for the offseason. I will leave it to the parties involved to hammer out the details but maybe we can get some good suggestions. TEC loves Coors light, chocolate, goatees and Cubs clothing. Let's Go Astros has a penchant for fast food, beards, Bud Light and anything deep fried. Maybe we can get some suggestions for you.

On a side note, TEC just lost a bet to me and shall now be my bitch for the day. I plan on having him wash my truck and perform some yard work while I watch from a short distance. Further chores can be added depending on the execution of the above item. In cas you were wondering, Richard Marx is not the guy who sings the "Real Men of Genius" commercials. As most of us know it's the lead singer from Survivor. Chalk another one up for me.

Hall of Fame

I know it's not directly related to the NL Central, but is still baseball. While watching Sports Center this morning, I saw John Smoltz recorded his 3,000 K. Does that number still mean automatic inclusion into the Hall of Fame? What about 500 Home Runs? With that said, here's some players that may or may not go into the Hall. Should they get in? I've excluded Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire as I don't want this to be just about drugs and also some no brainer inclusions like Greg Maddux and Randy Johnson among others.

• Frank Thomas
• Jeff Bagwell
• Craig Biggio
• Sammy Sosa
• Barry Larkin
• Curt Schilling
• Pedro Martinez
• Jason Giambi
• Don Mattingly
• John Smoltz
• John Glavine
• Chipper Jones
• "Pudge" Rodriguez

Who else that's not on this list should be in the hall? I expect Cubs Fans to say Andre Dawson and Lee Smith and I couldn't argue against either of them.

...the 5th RBI was "and the horse you rode in on"

Hey, DEADSPIN!

Ronny Cedeno's bat just called.

It said, "Go f*ck yourself."

How do you say BRAD LIDGE in Spanish???

JOSE VALVERDE!!!

In Dusty We Trusty - Part...oh, whatever...

Look out!

The Reds have called up ex-Cub and HGH enthusiast Jerry Hairston, Jr.!

Let's see if HE can hit that darn truck!

Ahhhh... It's good to be a Cubs Fan!! (Today, anyway)

I was all ready to gloat about the Cubbies being in first place all the way into the late-middle of April, but I was beaten to the punch! Oh, well... The sentiment remains... Cubs Win! Cubs Win! They're playing the Pirates, who couldn't catch a cold in a meat locker much less a baseball, but hey, a win is a win, right? After all, they saying is, "Beat the teams you're supposed to beat." I would say something about that applying to the Cards against the Giants, but I'm better than that, right? ;-)

I'll personally take first place any day. Another old saying goes, "You can't win the pennant in April, but you can sure lose it." I believe that to be very true. That being said, I would worry if I were an Astros-only fan. I like the Astros and will root for them as long as they're not playing my Cubbies or ahead of them in the standings, so I hope that they pull out of the funk they're in and finish second. I would even like to see them win the Wild Card and lose in the NLCS... But that's wishful thinking at this point.

I'm really hating how well the Cards have pitched up until last weekend. I am thinking they can't keep that up for an entire season. If you are a Cards fan, you have reason to hope: You will get three potential starters back during the season. Since it is such a long season, that may be a huge advantage down the road if you can stay in it that long.

I went to the Cards second game of the season against the Rockies. It was my first time in Busch, and it was FREAKIN' COLD! Geesh! To add insult to injury, I wore my Cubs shirt but couldn't take my coat off long enough for anyone to enjoy it, the Cubs lost that day, and the Cards won. If it hadn't been a day at the 'ole ballpark, it would have really sucked. That being said, any day at the ballpark is a good day in my book.

Let's see, I bashed the Pirates and Astros a bit... How about the Cards and their lousy showing to the Giants at home?? What was up with that? Maybe they are reverting to what everyone thought they would be?? Let's hope. If there's one team I don't want to see win, it's the Cards.

Has anyone seen what Prince Fielder is doing over in Milwaukee? No one has. He's hitting like a 12 year old orphan girl in Cambodia. Makes sense since he's eating like one now. He switched to a vegetarian diet, and more than a few pundits think that this is at least a part of his production drop off. My thinking is, "Send this man another veggie burger!" If he wants to hit .220 with 10 home runs all year I wouldn't complain too much. I don't like Milwaukee's team only because I see them as the main threat to the Cubs. So they can, IMHO, piss off! ;-)

It's Monday, but that never stopped me from ranting, did it??? ;)

One more thing: I didn't mention the Reds because I personally like Dusty Baker. I met him in Milwaukee a couple of years ago and got to spend some time with him. He's a BIG guy!! But really nice, and he didn't seem to mind taking the time out of his busy day to take with ordinary folk. You just don't see that much anymore. So he gets a pass from me.

Until next time...

Oh, hey, look at that...

...however, to put things in perspective, the bullet train that is the St. Louis "...and hitting eighth, the pitcher..." Cardinals did run up against the "not as wretched as expected" SF Giants over the weekend.

Brennaman Calls Cubs Fans Obnoxious

Cincinnati broadcaster Marty Brennaman's commented that Cubs fans are "obnoxious." Fans at Wrigley Field traditionally throw the opposing team's home runs back onto the field, but after Adam Dunn connected Wednesday in the eighth inning, they got carried away and tossed 15 balls onto the field. Brennaman said the behavior was "obnoxious" and the type of action that "makes you want to see this Chicago Cubs team lose."

Listen here assclown, you just must need some attention because your job becomes insignificant by the end of May every year. This will probably be your only quotable thought that you are going to see the next decade so enjoy it. In case you haven't figured it out yet, Cubs fans have always been and will continue to be obnoxious. But we are loyal, you might notice that better when you see the customary "sea of blue" when we are playing in Shitcinatti. Also, commenting that it makes you want to see the Cubs lose has no effect, we have been losing for 99 years. Maybe you will get some more excitement in the booth when you get to announce the play-by-play of Griffey's next groin pull. It was a harmless and rather funny sight to see all those balls getting thrown back in. I think that you may have misunderstood what passion is. I know there won't be any Reds fans to come defend "the big red machine" to furthur prove my point. No hard feelings Marty, I will continue to be obnoxious in my passion.
Sweet Lou does come to the rescue.

Weirder and weirder

OK...things didn't get off to a good start when Hunter Pence went through a sliding glass window. I figured it knocked out his ability to hit a breaking pitch. Then Kaz Matsui has extreme hemorrhoids, leading to anal fissure surgery. Makes me wonder if he ran across Schillinger from Oz on some back road in the off season...wait...scratch that...don't need the visual. Now the one Astro I've enjoyed, Miguel Tejada is actually two years older than previously reported. If he's listed at 25 and is actually 27 that's one thing, but listed at 31 and actually 33 is another. Can he can keep up this pace all year? He was an iron man until last year so I'm concerned about his wear and tear. I just wonder what's next? I hope no one ends up on this list, (check out the Manager...awesome!)

2nd NOTICE TO NLC: The Big Z WILL beat you with his stick

The Big Z can - and will - beat you with his stick.

Facing (Former Astro Roger) Clemens

My wife and I got a chance to attend the book release party for our friend, Jonathan Mayo. The book is Facing Clemens: Hitters on Confronting Baseball's Most Intimidating Pitcher. As serious junkies know, Jonathan is the minor league draft guru for MLB.com. But in the book, as the title suggests, he got a chance to talk to a bunch of different guys about what it's like to step in the box against The Rocket. I'm especially looking forward to the chapter on Julio Franco.

Jonathan is genuinely one of the nicest guys you're likely to meet, and (in between shoveling down pieces of Giant Eagle sheet cake), we had a wide-ranging conversation about American Idol, pick-up basketball, The Big Easy, his boy's first day of kindergarten, and my proposed Men's Occasional Night Out (MONO) for the neighborhood guys. We finally got around to talking about the book.

SDM: Is is there a chapter about Richie Zisk?

Jonathan Mayo: No.

SDM: Are there any Pirates in the book?

Jonathan Mayo: Um, no.

You can read an excerpt of the book featuring Torii Hunter right here. And you can pick one up a copy of the book on Amazon via Jonathan's website.

Here's wishing Jonathan the best.

News FLASH! Sophomoric Humor Drives NLC Blog

Cubs' Long Balls Light Up The Night:
Reds Hope To Rebound Utilizing No-Fly Zone

Down Goes Soriano

Here we go again, another year and another start to the injuries.

Soriano ran to catch Ken Griffey Jr.'s fly ball in left-center field with two outs in the Cincinnati first, doing his trademark hop before catching it. As he came down to land, Soriano couldn't put any weight on his right leg, and hopped a few times on his left leg. Shortstop Ryan Theriot helped the outfielder as he hobbled off the field.
"As he was catching the ball, he goes up after it, and he just strained his calf," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said. "It's his unique style."
Piniella didn't want to project how long Soriano would be sidelined until he got the test results Wednesday. "Let's get the results tomorrow," Piniella said. "If he's out for an extended period of time, it'll hurt us.

I hate to say it but it's mostly my fault. You see, I like to poke fun of Griffey getting injured all the time and ruining the Reds' season. Well, irony is a bitch isn't it. Let's just say that I think that Griffey Jr. is an outstanding player who gargles from the fountain of youth. I think he will be blessed with eternal health and happiness. I hope that clears things up, if not I will send a blessing from Dave Concepcion.

Much has been made of the Soriano hop that seems to have caused the injury. Sammy Sosa would like you to know that ceremonial celebratory hops "have not been very good to me". Corking a bat is also advised against. I will give an update later after the Cubs get word of the MRI results later today. Let's just hope that Shaun Alexander isn't praying over it right now for a miraculous recovery that will allow his to play tonight. Looks like Matt Murton might get the nod to replace Alfonzi in the meantime. Hey, things could be worse.

Down Goes Soriano

UPDATE:
Soriano went on the 15 day DL with a strained calf, while it's not the best situation it could be much worse. Cubs were able to hold their own and then some when he went down for an extended stint last year. Strangely enough, it is Eric Patterson that was called up and not Murton to fill-in in Fonzi's absense. Could the curse of Corey Patterson travel through the family tree. Stay tuned to find out.

Notice To Rest Of NLC: The Big Z Can - And Will - Beat You With His Stick

Random thoughts while procrastinating about work and waiting for lunch time.

I've got to be honest, I'm worried about Roy Oswalt. Going into the season, he was the only comfort I had in the pitching staff. After watching him Friday pitch batting practice to the Marlins, (they had like four HR's off him), there has to be something wrong. In today's paper he said he feels fine and was working in the bullpen yesterday on some mechanics, such as his arm angle and stride, which the pitching coach says is causing the ball to be flat to the plate. His next start is Wednesday in Philly, so we'll see. I think if there's not an improvement, there has to be something wrong physically. He's always been known as a "gamer", doesn't complain about injuries and pitches through them. Might need to change his tune. He's too good to pitch this bad.

Speaking of pitching, how about Wandy Rodriguez? With the reputation of Minute Maid Park as a hitters park, how does he pitch so well there? Over that past two years he has an ERA of 2.63 at home and 6.41 on the road. So far this season he's following the same trend with a home ERA of 0.63 and 7.20 on the road. Here's a shout out to Ed Wade, the GM. FIGURE OUT WHAT IT IS! If it's he needs some lovin' from his wife before game time, let her travel with the team. Does he eat Chuy's for a pregame meal? Start making large to-go orders. Get's better rest on his home mattress than a Hotel's? Make some intern start lugging the dang thing from city to city. Whatever it is, figure it out and make it happen.

I have been enjoying watching Tejada so far. He's really played well both offensively and defensively. Seems the critics that said he's lost range and was just a roid guy have made him focus and practice harder. It's definately paying off. While he's batting .319 to start the year, I've liked what he's done in the field. Nice diving stops on balls hit up the middle (did you see the double play he and Loretta turned on Saturday?) and a gun from deep in the hole.

Not as much anger from me today. I guess because it's Monday, no one's pissed me off yet and I really don't care much about anything yet this week. BTW - my second favorite team this week is the Brewers. See previous post to figure out why.

SDM Site Visit: PNC Park

There was a palpable excitement in the air as we headed to downtown Pittsburgh Friday night. Hordes of fans in replica jerseys were looking forward to the first big home game of the "new" season. Of course, these fans were headed to Mellon Arena for the Pens-Senators game, whereas I was en route to PNC along with a handful of other fans to see the local nine take on a collection of players from Cincinnati.

Not all was lost, as it was the first of Highmark's The Lumber Company bobblehead nights, this one featuring local icon Manny Sanguillen. This promises to be a big promotion, with the likes of Willie Stargell, Richie Hebner, Dave Parker, Al Oliver, Richie Zisk (!), and Rennie Stennett. Due to some combination of the lousy weather, lousy team, lousy opponent, meaningful hockey game, the crowd crossing the Clemente bridge was pretty sparse. As we approached the stadium, my friend pointed out how odd it was that folks approaching the stadium got the posterior view of the great Clemente, and how there had been some talk of correcting it. (This gaffe is certainly not the magnitude of the newly-unveiled Ernie Banks at Wrigley saying "Lets Play Two," but it does seem rather ridiculous). We got to the gate with minimal interference and asked the guy manning the bag search line whether the game had been delayed, and he hadn't heard anything about it. This was odd because we had heard about it on the radio an hour earlier, but no matter.

For those of you who haven't been to PNC, the Clemente Bridge empties onto the center field entrance, which is the site of Manny's Barbecue (though Manny is the titular head, the service is actually run by Aramark concessions). On most nights Manny will sit in a chair and sign autographs and talk to the fans, most of whom tell him they remember him from back when. There was a healthy line of folks with their bobbleheads lined up to get them signed, but of course Manny was out on the field for the pre-game ceremonies and so the autograph hounds would go wanting.

We took a circuitous route to our seats and settled in for the first pitch. But no sooner had the game started than it started raining rather heavily, so most sane folks headed to cover of the upper deck. With maybe 10,000 folks on hand, there was plenty of room for everyone.

What unfolded was five of the more unusual shutout innings that you are likely to see. Pirates lefty Paul Maholm went 5 and a third scoreless, while giving up six hits, walking two, plunking Junior in the keister, and suffering two Pirate errors. One of those errors was on the game's first play where Maholm himself booted a slow roller toward the mound.

In the fourth we headed toward Manny's to procure one of the better ballpark deals around, the Manny platter. Pulled pork, slaw, and beans for $7.75. There was a minor buzz because some guy who wore his hair seventies straight down, parted in the middle, with a backpack full of different color signature pens, had heard a rumor that Manny himself was en route. This was met with skepticism from the Manny food service employees who had heard quite the opposite. The sad truth is that the back and forth here was marginally more interesting than what was unfolding on the field, so we stuck around. Sure enough, Manny hobbled over about five minutes later and we were first in line for his sig. We exchange pleasantries about the old Lumber Company and he somehow still seems cordial and enthusiastic about the whole Pirates scene. Showing competence that Pirates management traditionally would reward with a contract extension, my camera battery was shot and hence I missed a spectacular photo op with Manny and his own bobblehead. (And, come to think of it, why didn't I ask him about having his likeness on a bobblehead? What a maroon).

We made it back to our seats for the fifth and the mystery box giveaway promotion (I'll give you three guesses; if you didn't guess Manny Sanguillen autographed bobblehead, you must not follow a small-market team). In the top of the sixth one of the louder thunderclaps you are ever likely to hear struck right above the park, setting off a ferocious downpour and rather high winds. Without prompting, the Pirates sprinted off the field, making way for a genuine ground crew comedy of errors. Somehow, probably due to the weight of the rain, the crew was unable to pull the tarp to cover the first-base line. As a result, the field was turning into a rather serious mudhole. After probably five minutes of trying to pull it by brute force, the crew pulled the tarp back to get the water off and then tried again. And, again, they were unable to cover the field. Meanwhile, a young man in Pirates garb in a small utility vehicle sped on with some smaller tarps to cover first base. But no sooner did he try to spread these over first base did they blow away. If the Pirates would have owned a lead, no doubt Cincinnati would have filed a successful protest that the Buccos intentionally bungled the tarp job forcing a rainout.

By this time, Tom Seaver and John Candelaria were warm and Game 1 (I presume) of the NL Championship series was playing on the Jumbotron. Never a good sign, we waited for the rain to subside and we headed for the exit along with perhaps a third of the folks in attendance.

Though I didn't see it (the Penguins were on FoxSports), Jason Bay hit a dinger in the sixth and the Pirates went on to win 1-0, with the hapless Reds leaving 12 men on base. Ouch. Indeed, the Pirates went on to sweep the Reds in spectacular fashion, which I think is more of a testament to the problems with the Reds than any promise in the Pirates. But we shall see on May 9 when we head back to retrieve our Pops Stargell bobblehead.

Or if not Pops, definitely Richie Zisk.

Who Knew Ziggy and Dusty Have So Much In Common

It's another year, and another gig for Dusty Baker. I guess being the next Joe Morgan has it's limitations when you don't have the intangibles that Joe has. I thought surely his first order of business would have been to try to get Neifi Perez back on his squad but I guess he will just have to settle for Corey Patterson. I liked Dusty but I have to wonder the thought process behind going to the Reds. But with a quote like this, I have to even wonder some more.

I read an article by [basketball's] Larry Brown and he said he wanted to come back and coach again because he didn't want to end his coaching career on such a bad note and in last place ... I understood exactly where he was coming from.

Do you really think that Cincy is going to be that golden ticket that brings you back from the cellar? If you do I am sure that you have the Bucs on speed-dial and are praying for a healthy George Foster Griffey Jr. when it matters the most (June in Cincy's case). If anything Dusty's always graced me with some great quotes, and for that I will always be thankful. Now where did I put my toothpicks and wrist bands?

Bakers First Year Magic Will Be Tested

Bird Dropping

Former Illini, Scott Spiezio, who was cut by the St. Louis Cardinals one year after helping lead the team to what most consider to be the worst and most boring World Series ever, signed a deal with the Atlanta Braves.

Spiezio started the '2008 campaign in both Triple-A and AA.

UPDATE: He's gone.

The Cubs: 99 Years of Misery

Great article today featured on ESPN page 2. The Cubs: 99 Years of Misery. This article painstakingly shows what went wrong in each of the last 99 years for the Cubs. This is really brutal for the Cubs loyal to read, but I am sure that the Astros and Cardinal fans should enjoy this. Just refresh my memory Astros fans, when was the last time you guys won the world series? Thought so. I would also like to pose a question. If you go to the World Series and don't win a single game, does it really count as being in the World Series? At this point I am just trying to make myself feel better. This article almost makes me want to be a Pirates fan, almost. What do you get when you cross a 3 fingered pitcher, a black cat, Steve Garvey Bartman, a goat and a routine ground ball to short? I guess you get the picture.
The Cubs: 99 Years of Misery

What's in an Assumed Name?

Since we are officially on our way into the season and some of us need to find a little serenity. Looks like "The Smoking Gun" found a hotel document that lists many of the 2005 Yankees players hotel alias'. I must admit there are some pretty good ones here and some that remind me why they are baseball players and not comedians. Although I get a big laugh every year when they dump money everywhere and end up choking in the playoffs, although due to recent developments I don't have much room to talk) but it's not over yet. Back on track, as I can feel my emotions beginning to derail my thoughts, here are some of the names that they used to avoid crazy fans (seems that they like the groupies so I won't say they are avoiding them).

Johnny Drama (Jeter); Simon Phoenix (Mike Mussina); Bruce Almighty (Don Mattingly); Ricky Ricardo (Jorge Posada); Joe Saturday (Hideki Matsui); Sam Adams (Randy Johnson); Richard Long (Bernie Williams); Turd Ferguson (Jaret Wright); and Austin Powers (Ruben Sierra). We're not sure why outfielder Matt Lawton used the "Eleven Fifty" alias, but Luis Sojo apparently went by "Harry Pelotas" because the fake surname translates to "balls" in Spanish.

Well it's safe to assume that this will probably be my only post dedicated to the Yankees unless Jeter puts out a cologne with Avon or something. Doh, where have I been.
Read it Here from The Smoking Gun

Kige Ramsey Tempts Destiny

If Kige says so, you know it's true. I feel as if a big load has been lifted off my shoulders and the rest of teams wallowing in your own sorrow will always have next year. As many of you may not know, I have always trusted the intuition of Kige and have written about him on several occasions. To get a real appreciation of his genius you need to go no further than here.
The Kige Ramsey Interview That Never Happened
The Genius That Is Kige Ramsey

New Second Favorite Team

I've decided I have a new second favorite team. Everyone knows my favorite is the Astros, but I'm formally announcing my second favorite is whoever is playing the Cardinals. I hate the Cardinals. I know this isn't anything new for Cubs fans, but we Astros fans have been mostly on the sidelines. Remember, the Cards, or even Cubs for that matter, weren't in our division until the 1998 Season so the Dodgers were more hated traditionally. Back to my point. Tony LaRussa is the most OVERRATED manager in baseball. Is it because he has a law degree? Is it because he has famous friends? Is it because he has some animal rescue charity? Whatever it is, he gets all kind of slack on the baseball field. Yes, the Cardinals got lucky and were hot during the series a few years ago. However, the Astros did the same thing the year before to make the series and did anyone really think they were the best team in the NL? Heck, Phil Garner out managed the "genius" LaRussa during that series, but LaRussa gets no blame. Larry Dierker had a better five year record than LaRussa besting the Cards on numerous occasions, yet there's always excuses for why the genius can't perform. Every year during the spring LaRussa would say the Cards were the team to beat and the Astros would still win the division. Just for that I tell him BIOYA (Blow It Out Your A**), or BOHICA (Bend Over Here It Comes Again)

For those of you that think he's so great, I have two names for you, Chris Sabo and Kirk Gibson. Remember the unbeatable A's teams of the late 80's? The Bash Brothers, Mr. Mean on the Mound and the unhittable Eck in the pin, managed by the "genius". How about getting swept by the Reds and Dodgers? He is a whiney b**ch. As I heard on the radio today, there's two types of people that wear sunglasses indoors, blind people and morons. I don't think he's blind. Even gets a DUI for falling asleep at a stop light and nothing happens to the guy. Yesterday he was complaining about how they were changing the rotating signs behind home plate. Whatever, go rescue something, you inside sunglass wearing, whining, attorney, overrated, sorry excuse for a baseball genius.

Albert Pujols, her fore referred to as A-Poo, is a perfect fit to play with LaRussa. Smug disrespectful ass that thinks he's better than anyone else. Hey A-Poo, why don't you meet Backe in a dark alley? Remember Nolan Ryan and Robin Ventura? That's what happens when you mess with someone from SE Texas. In other words, you'll get a beating that will make you run to Tony's shoulder crying about how he hit you. Probably crying about it bruised your ovaries and now you'll have to miss a game. Hey A-Poo real men don't have ovaries, but I'm sure you do. I'll meet you in an alley and go Kimbo Slice on your pansy a**. Here's to a fastball between the shoulder blades next time you set a foot in Minute Maid.

While I'm at it, I'm still pissed at MLB for the realignment in 97. Why are we the only division with six teams? Why does the NL have two more teams than the AL? BS to me. I don't have my normal stats as to why it's unfair, but it pisses me off, especially during the all-star game when we have to have members of every team represented, which means two more nobodies are on the NL over the AL. I guess I do have one stat and you just read it.

Thanks to Lance Zierlein of 1560 the Game's morning show, for helping me reach my inner pissed off point this morning. Don't know if it's because I traveled yesterday from San Francisco so I'm tired, or the b**tch turning onto Sienna Parkway this morning did an illegal turn, (hey dumb ass, the sign says left turn from left lane only...middle lane goes straight. I guess you don't have to follow the law if you drive an Infinity. There's a reason I have an F-150, to run over morons like you. See you at the intersection tomorrow), but the timing was perfect to make a rant. So Double Rods!

On another note, I also heard this morning about a web site run by Brewer Mike where people pledge to pee in their pants if the Brewers make the playoffs. Could be my sophomoric sense of humor but I like the idea. Might even sign up. http://www.peeyourpantsforthebrewers.com/

Now I'm off to terrioze the office. Might be one of those days where it's best to shut my office door and only come out for Diet Cokes and a leak.

Peanut Gallery - Cubs v. Astros 4/08

(Dave Gerard with his nephew, Will Gerard - Cubs WIN!)

During BP before the Cubs' 9-7 win over the 'Stros Houston pitcher Geoff Geary not only would not toss a ball into the bleachers, he was also shouting (indecipherable) back at the fans.

When Geary balked Fukudome to third in the seventh we were shouting at Carlos Lee (who also taunted the crowd - and vice-versa - between every inning until he misplayed Fukudome's double) "He STILL won't throw the ball!" and Will (pictured - you may have also seen him when Soto tripled as the ball hit the wall right below him) pointed out, "You practice like you play!"



NOTE: Derek Lee is currently on pace to hit 81 home runs while Albert Pujols is on pace to hit zero.

Thank goodness for 162 games

Well...so far the 'Stros and Cubbies aren't setting the world on fire. A combined 2-5 to kick off the season. My excuse is we started on the road and played two very good pitchers. I think the real reason justifies why Kelly picked this name for the blog. There should be lots of mediocrity in the division this year. I know we all think we're going to win at this point, but what is going to be the final difference is who gets hot in September. I don't think anyone, with the exception of the Pirates and HOPEFULLY the Cardinals will be out of it by then. That would be the point all Dusty's pitchers arms fall off, when all the veterans get tired of Lou's my way or the highway managerial style, the Brewers realize they're the Brewers and are still owned by the Selig family and the Astros are worn out as through out the season they've had to score 18 runs a night to win, which most of those runs have come through errors, stolen bases, passed balls and a Major League record for balks against w/ the bases loaded.