Weirder and weirder

OK...things didn't get off to a good start when Hunter Pence went through a sliding glass window. I figured it knocked out his ability to hit a breaking pitch. Then Kaz Matsui has extreme hemorrhoids, leading to anal fissure surgery. Makes me wonder if he ran across Schillinger from Oz on some back road in the off season...wait...scratch that...don't need the visual. Now the one Astro I've enjoyed, Miguel Tejada is actually two years older than previously reported. If he's listed at 25 and is actually 27 that's one thing, but listed at 31 and actually 33 is another. Can he can keep up this pace all year? He was an iron man until last year so I'm concerned about his wear and tear. I just wonder what's next? I hope no one ends up on this list, (check out the Manager...awesome!)